5 Ways Pitocin is different than oxytocin

The numbers of inductions of labor using artificial means likePitocin and other medications has gone up dramatically in the last few years. A hospital in my area says that 90 of the women have their labors induced. Since science shows us that inducing labor can increase the numbers of complications in the labor and with the baby, you might be surprised to note that many of the inductions are not for medical reasons, but rather reasons of convenience, practitioner or mother, known as social induction.

One of the things that women tell me is that they are lead to believe that induction is completely safe and relatively easy, after all, Pitocin is just another form of the body's own oxytocin, right?

While this statement is generally true, artificially created hormones, including Pitocin do not act identically to the hormones in ones body. For example, in pregnancy both the mother and the baby produce oxytocin. The oxytocin produced by each reacts differently in the body because they each have separate jobs.

Here are five things that you may not know about Pitocin and how it can effect your labor:

• Pitocin is released differently. 
  Oxytocin is released into your body in a pulsing action. It comes intermittently to allow your body a break. Pitocin is given in an IV in a continuous manner. This can cause contractions to be longer and stronger than your baby or placenta can handle, depriving your baby of oxygen.
• Pitocin prevents your body from offering endorphins. 
  When you are in labor naturally, your body responds to the contractions and oxytocin with the release of endorphins, a morphine like substance that helps prevent and counteract pain. When you receive Pitocin, your body does not know to release the endorphins, despite the fact that you are in pain.
• Pitocin isn't as effective at dilating the cervix. 
  When the baby releases oxytocin it works really well on the uterine muscle, causing the cervix to dilate. Pitocin works much more slowly and with less effect, meaning it takes more Pitocin to work.
• Pitocin lacks a peak at birth. 
  In natural labor, the body provides a spike in oxytocin at the birth, stimulating the fetal ejection reflex, allowing for a faster and easier birth. Pitocin is regulated by a pump and not able to offer this boost at the end.

• Pitocin can interfere with bonding. 
  When the body releases oxytocin, also known as the love hormone, it promotes bonding with the baby after birth. Pitocin interferes with the internal release of oxytocin, which can disturb the bonding process.

Your body's own natural oxytocin is superior in many ways to Pitocin. There are also ways to increase the release of this natural oxytocin including skin-to-skin contact, lovemaking, breastfeeding, and others.

So, if you are presented with the option of an induction of labor, you might want to ask your provider about whether or not it is being done for a medical reason or if it's something that a bit of time and patience will help alleviate.

_Sources:

_{American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists [ACOG]. (2004). ACOG Practice Bulletin No. 55: Management of postterm pregnancy. Obstetrics and Gynecology, 104(3), 639-646.}

_{Glantz, J. C. (2005). Elective induction vs. spontaneous labor associations and outcomes. Journal of Reproductive Medicine, 50(4), 235-240.}

_{Kramer, M. S., Rouleau, J., Baskett, T. F., & Joseph, K. S. (2006). Amniotic-fluid embolism and medical induction of labor: A retrospective, population-based cohort study. The Lancet, 368(9545), 1444-1448.}

_{Leaphart, W. L., Meyer, M. C., & Capeless, E. L. (1997). Labor induction with a prenatal diagnosis of fetal macrosomia. The Journal of Maternal-Fetal Medicine, 6(2), 99-102.}

_{March of Dimes. (2006). If you’re pregnant: Induction by request. Retrieved May 15, 2007, fromwww.marchofdimes.com/prematurity/21239_20203.asp}

_{Sanchez-Ramos, L., Bernstein, S., & Kaunitz, A. M. (2002). Expectant management versus labor induction for suspected fetal macrosomia: A systematic review. Obstetrics & Gynecology, 100(5), 997-1002.}

_{Vahratian, A., Zhang, J., Troendle, J. F., Sciscione, A. C., & Hoffman, M. K. (2005). Labor progression and risk of cesarean delivery in electively induced nulliparas. Obstetrics & Gynecology, 105(4), 698-704.}

_{Vrouenraets, F. P., Roumen, F. J., Dehing, C. J., van den Akker, E. S., Aarts, M. J., & Scheve, E. J. (2005). Bishop score and risk of cesarean delivery after induction of labor in nulliparous women. Obstetrics & Gynecology, 105(4), 690-697.}

Low Amniotic Fluid

http://www.glorialemay.com/blog/?p=60

You Can't Spoil a Baby

http://www.circleofmoms.com/article/more-cry-babies-can-you-spoil-baby-00619?trk=fbfp_spoil_061611&reload=1

At some point, a grandma, neighbor or random stranger has probably served up advice (unsolicited) that you're going to spoil your baby by racing to comfort her when she cries or fusses. Or, this parenting guru wannabe has read you the riot act for for holding your baby too much. "You're going to spoil her," they proclaim. "You'll be sorry."

Well, pooh-pooh to them, say many Circle of Moms members. These moms feel strongly that you can't spoil a baby by holding or comforting her too much. In fact, they believe the opposite: that meeting an infant's need to be held and fed in a predictable fashion actually helps your baby feel more secure and will build a lasting relationship of trust between mom and child.

"Human infants are born incredibly vulnerable," says Lisa M. "They're also biologically programmed to need near-constant contact with their mothers. Basically, a baby feels out of sorts and wrong when not being carried. A dry diaper and a full belly just don't cut it," Jennifer L. says, adding that "A baby needs to be held, It isn't even that they just want to be, they actually need it. Human contact is essential for proper brain, cognitive, and emotional development."

What's more, many of Circle of Moms members feel that responding to your baby actually fosters independence. "I held my son all the time, I still pick him up when he is crying," says Nikki M. about her 13-month-old son. "I don't believe you can spoil a baby, a baby needs their mommy to comfort and soothe them. Studies have shown babies who are not left to cry are the ones who are the most independent later on, because they feel safe and secure. My son is the most independent little boy out there."

Many Circle of Moms members also agree that cuddling and holding a baby fall into the same category of basic needs as feeding and changing dirty diapers. As Angie E. explains,"The need to be held and cuddled...is as much a need as any of the other things. It's how they build attachments and learn that they are safe. Remember the baby has just spent nine months living inside of you, hearing your heart beat all day long and being warm and cozy. How scary must it be for them to suddenly be put in a big crib all alone with no heartbeat to listen to, no warm cuddly place where they can hear your voice?"

So next time someone suggests that a baby is purposefully turning on the waterworks to yank your chain and be spoiled, don't pay attention, suggests Brandy K. "If your baby is having some separation anxiety and is being extra-needy, wanting to be held all the time, the quickest way to get him through it is to be there for his every cry.  [Knowing] that you are there for him all the time, whenever needed, will build [his] confidence and support him in becoming an independent person. Mothers are supposed to be nurturing, and babies need to be held and comforted." 

Co-Sleeping

Co-sleeping is a common practice in non-Western cultures but is growing in popularity as it promotes breastfeeding, bonding and is safer than crib/cot sleeping when practiced correctly. Some parents continue co-sleeping with their children into toddlerhood and young childhood. Co-sleep is a sleeping practice where parents have the infant sleep with them rather than in a separate bed or crib.

Co-sleeping has received a bad reputation in the Western world due to poor practices that have resulted in infants being smothered by bedding or crushed by parents. However, when done properly, co-sleeping  can have many benefits. Here are a few facts to consider when co-sleeping with your baby:

1. WIll I crush or smother my baby?

It is impossible to claim that there is ZERO chance of an adult crushing or smothering a baby while sleeping as there is no infant sleep environment is 100% risk free. In the worldwide ethnographic record, mothers accidentally suffocating their babies during the night are virtually unheard of, except among western industrialized nations. However, in western culture, there are an overwhelming number of infant death cases.

Many studies suggest that mothers and infants are designed to respond to the presence of each other throughout the night. Having said that, with safe practices, you will not smother your baby while co-sleeping.

2. How can I safely sleep with my baby?

• Adults should not have consumed alcohol, drugs, or any narcotics while co-sleeping
• It is not recommended to cosleep on couches, sitting chairs or water beds
• The bed and mattress should be firm and should fit tightly against the headboard/footboard so that an infant cannot fall between cracks
• Avoid using duvets and lots of pillows
• Lightly wrap the baby rather than using heavy clothing, as contact with other bodies increases the baby’s temperature
• The baby should not be placed on a pillow or have their head covered by blankets
• It is not recommended to sleep with other children in the bed or allow toddlers to sleep alone, as children are not always aware when sleeping with other people

3.  Can I sleep with my baby and my spouse in the same bed?

Yes you can. Ensure both adults are in agreement of the sleeping arrangement and never assume that the adult is aware of the baby in the bed. One suggestion is to make both parents agree to be responsible for the baby, not one, so both are accountable for the baby and its positioning.

4. What are the benefits of cosleeping?

• Ease of breastfeeding: One study found that bed sharing infants breastfeed about twice as often as regular solitary sleepers, with the total duration of nightly nursing episodes amounting to almost three times of what is observed in lone sleep conditions (see p. 124 of Natural Parenting – Back to Basics in Infant Care – by Regine A. Schön and Maarit Silvén in the Evolutionary Psychology journal)
• Better sleep for mom and baby: Co-sleeping means more sleep and generally less anxiety about sleep compared to mothers whose babies sleep in another room who need to get out of bed to respond to their baby. This causes the mother to wake up more fully and makes it more difficult for her to fall back asleep. Also, she is less able to rest while tending to her baby than a mother who is in bed with her baby. This is backed up by research by M.D. Gordon and S.L. Hill in 2008 that found co-sleeping families were less likely to believe their infant’s sleep was problematic than non-co-sleeping families
• Mothers can react to baby: Co-sleeping mothers are more in tune with their baby’s sleep and can take action to keep their baby comfortable and safe during the night. Parents that have a baby in a separate room and use a baby monitor will hear their baby cry, but may not hear more subtle signs that their baby is uncomfortable. Missing those subtle cues can mean that the baby needs to wake more fully in order to alert the parents, which can result in more effort and time required to resettle the baby
• Bed bonding results in more independent children: (reported on p.141 of Natural Parenting – Back to Basics in Infant Care) found that “routinely sharing the parents’ bed in infancy has been associated with greater self-reliance and social independence at preschool age than a history of solitary sleeping (Keller, M. A., and Goldberg, 2004).” Other studies have also consistently reported higher self-esteem among children and adults that co-slept during childhood
• Allows working parents to connect with their child

4. What are the risks of co-sleeping?

• Smothering/suffocating a baby is the biggest risk of co-sleeping when not done properly
• Crushing the baby
• The baby falling off the bed or between bed cracks

5. Until how old can I co-sleep with my baby?

You can co-sleep with your baby as long as works for your family. It has been proven that  the longer you co-sleep with your baby, the more independent and well-adjusted they will be later in life.
6. Can a baby die of SIDS while cosleeping?
There is always a chance of a baby dying of SIDS when sleeping, as it occurs when babies sleep alone in an emptied crib and in a bed with other people. However, the odds are signifigantly reduced when co-sleeping properly.

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/moral-landscapes/201112/dangers-crying-it-out?page=2

Dangers of “Crying It Out”

Damaging children and their relationships for the longterm.

Published on December 11, 2011 by Darcia Narvaez, Ph.D. in Moral Landscapes

Letting babies "cry it out" is an idea that has been around since at least the 1880s when the field of medicine was in a hullaballoo about germs and transmitting infection and so took to the notion that babies should rarely be touched (see Blum, 2002, for a great review of this time period and attitudes towards childrearing).
In the 20^th century, behaviorist James Watson, interested in making psychology a hard science, took up the crusade against affection as president of the American Psychological Association. He applied the mechanistic paradigm of behaviorism to child rearing, warning about the dangers of too much mother love. The 20^th century was the time when "men of science" were assumed to know better than mothers, grandmothers and families about how to raise a child. Too much kindness to a baby would result in a whiney, dependent, failed human being. Funny how he got away with this with no evidence to back it up! Instead there is evidence all around (then and now) showing the opposite to be true.

A government pamphlet from the time recommended that "mothering meant holding the baby quietly, in tranquility-inducing positions" and that "the mother should stop immediately if her arms feel tired" because "the baby is never to inconvenience the adult."  Babies older than six months "should be taught to sit silently in the crib; otherwise, he might need to be constantly watched and entertained by the mother, a serious waste of time." (See Blum, 2002.)
Don't these attitudes sound familiar? A parent reported to me recently that he was encouraged to let his baby cry herself to sleep so he "could get his life back." 
With neuroscience, we can confirm what our ancestors took for granted---that letting babies cry is a practice that damages children and their relational capacities in many ways for the long term. We know now that letting babies cry is a good way to make a less intelligent, less healthy but more anxious, uncooperative and alienated person who can pass the same or worse traits on to the next generation. 

The discredited behaviorist view sees the baby as an interloper into the life of the parents, an intrusion who must be controlled by various means so the adults can live their lives without too much bother. Perhaps we can excuse this attitude and ignorance because at the time, extended families were being broken up and new parents had to figure out how to deal with babies on their own, an unnatural condition for humanity--we have heretofore raised children in extended families. The parents always shared care with multiple adult relatives.
According a behaviorist view completely ignorant of human development, the child 'has to be taught to be independent.' We can confirm now that forcing "independence" on a baby leads to greater dependence. Instead,giving babies what they need leads to greater independence later. In anthropological reports of small-band hunter-gatherers, parents took care of every need of babies and young children. Toddlers felt confident enough (and so did their parents) to walk into the bush on their own (see Hunter-Gatherer Childhoods, edited by Hewlett & Lamb, 2005).
Ignorant behaviorists then and now encourage parents to condition the baby to expect needs NOT to be met on demand, whether feeding or comforting.  It's assumed that the adults should 'be in charge' of the relationship.  Certainly this might foster a child that doesn't ask for as much help and attention (withdrawing into depression and going into stasis or even wasting away) but it is more likely to foster a whiney, unhappy, aggressive and/or demanding child, one who has learned that one must scream to get needs met. A deep sense of insecurity is likely to stay with them the rest of life.
The fact is that caregivers who habitually respond to the needs of the baby before the baby gets distressed, preventing crying, are more likely to have children who are independent than the opposite (Stein & Newcomb, 1994). Soothing care is best from the outset. Once patterns get established, it's much harder to change them.
We should understand the mother and child as a mutually responsive dyad. They are a symbiotic unit that make each other healthier and happier in mutual responsiveness. This expands to other caregivers too.
One strangely popular notion still around today is to let babies 'cry it out' when they are left alone, isolated in cribs or other devices.  This comes from a misunderstanding of child and brain development.

• Babies grow from being held. Their bodies get dysregulated when they are physically separated from caregivers. (See here for more.)

• Babies indicate a need through gesture and eventually, if necessary, through crying. Just as adults reach for liquid when thirsty, children search for what they need in the moment. Just as adults become calm once the need is met, so do babies.

• There are many longterm effects of undercare or need-neglect in babies (Dawson et al., 2000).

What does 'crying it out' actually do to the baby and to the dyad?
Neurons die. When the baby is stressed, the toxic hormone cortisol is released. It's a neuron killer. A full-term baby (40-42 weeks), with only 25% of its brain developed, is undergoing rapid brain growth. The brain grows on average three times as large by the end of the first year (and head size growth in the first year is a sign of intelligence). Who knows what neurons are not being connected or being wiped out during times of extreme stress? What deficits might show up years later from such regular distressful experience?
Disordered stress reactivity can be established as a pattern for life not only in the brain with the stress response system, but also in the body through the vagus nerve, a nerve that affects functioning in multiple systems (e.g., digestion). For example, prolonged distress in early life, resulting in a poorly functioning vagus nerve, is related disorders as irritable bowel syndrome (Stam et al, 1997). See more about how early stress is toxic for lifelong health from the recent Harvard report, The Foundations of Lifelong Health are Built in Early Childhood).
Self-regulation is undermined. The baby is absolutely dependent on caregivers for learning how to self-regulate. Responsive care---meeting the baby's needs before he gets distressed---tunes the body and brain up for calmness. When a baby gets scared and a parent holds and comforts him, the baby builds expectations for soothing, which get integrated into the ability to self comfort. Babies don't self-comfort in isolation. If they are left to cry alone, they learn to shut down in face of extensive distress-stop growing, stop feeling, stop trusting (Henry & Wang, 1998).
Trust is undermined. As Erik Erikson pointed out, the first year of life is a sensitive period for establishing a sense of trust in the world, the world of caregiver and the world of self.  When a baby's needs are met without distress, the child learns that the world is a trustworthy place, that relationships are supportive, and that the self is a positive entity that can get its needs met. When a baby's needs are dismissed or ignored, the child develops a sense of mistrust of relationships and the world. And self-confidence is undermined. The child may spend a lifetime trying to fill the inner emptiness.
Caregiver sensitivity may be harmed. A caregiver who learns to ignore baby crying, will likely learn to ignore the more subtle signaling of the child's needs. Second-guessing intuitions to stop child distress, the adult practices and increasingly learns to "harden the heart." The reciprocity between caregiver and babu is broken by the adult, but cannot be repaired by the young child. The baby is helpless.
Caregiver responsiveness to the needs of the child is related to most if not all positive child outcomes. In our work it is related to intelligence, empathy, lack of aggression or depression,self-regulation, social competence.  Because responsiveness is so powerful, we have to control for it in our studies of other parenting practices and child outcomes. The importance of caregiverresponsivness is common knowledge in developmental psychology  Lack of responsiveness, which "crying it out" represents. then can result in the opposite of the afrementioned positive outcomes.

The 'cry it out' approach seems to have arisen as a solution to the dissolution of extended family life in the 20th century. The vast wisdom of grandmothers was lost in the distance between households with children and those with the experience and expertise about how to raise them well. The wisdom of keeping babies happy was lost between generations.
But isn't it normal for babies to cry?
No, babies are built to expect the equivalent of an "external womb" after birth (see Allan Schore, specific references below). What is the external womb? ---being held constantly, breastfed on demand, needs met quickly (I have numerous posts on these things). When babies display discomfort, it signals that a need is not getting met, a need of their rapidly growing systems.
What does extensive baby crying signal? It shows the lack of experience, knowledge and support of the baby's caregivers. To remedy a lack of information in us all, below is a good set of articles about all the things that a baby's cry can signal. We can all educate ourselves about what babies need and the practices that alleviate baby crying. We can help one another to keep it from happening as much as possible.
Check these out:
How to soothe babies: http://www.babycenter.com/0_12-reasons-babies-cry-and-how-to-soothe-them_9790.bc?page=2
Soothing babies crying "for no reason":http://www.babycenter.com/0_what-to-do-when-your-baby-cries-for-no-reason_10320516.bc
Soothing babies who have "colic":http://www.babycenter.com/0_colic-how-to-cope_1369745.bc
Science of Parenting, an inexpensive, photo-filled, easy-to-read book for parents by Margot Sunderland has much more detail and references on these matters. I keep copies on hand to give to new parents.
More on babies' and children's needs here, here, here.
Giving babies what they need is really a basic right of babies. See herefor more rights I think babies should expect. And see here for a new book by Eileen Johnson on the emotional rights of babies.

References
Blum, D. (2002). Love at Goon Park: Harry Harlow and the Science of Affection. New York: Berkeley Publishing (Penguin).
Dawson, G., et al. (2000). The role of early experience in shaping behavioral and brain development and its implications for social policy. Development and Psychopathology, 12(4), 695-712.
Henry, J.P., & Wang, S. (1998). Effects of early stress on adult affiliative Behavior, Psychoneuroendocrinology 23( 8), 863-875.
Schore, A.N. (1997). Early organization of the nonlinear right brain and development of a predisposition to psychiatric disorders. Development and Psychopathology, 9, 595-631.
Schore, A.N. (2000). Attachment and the regulation of the right brain.Attachment & Human Development, 2, 23-47.
Schore, A.N. (2001). The effects of early relational trauma on right brain development, affect regulation, and infant mental health. Infant Mental Health Journal, 22, 201-269.
Stam, R., et al. (1997). Trauma and the gut: Interactions between stressful experience and intestinal function. Gut.
Stein, J. A., & Newcomb, M. D. (1994). Children's internalizing and externalizing behaviors and maternal health problems. Journal of Pediatric Psychology, 19(5), 571-593.
Watson, J. B. (1928). Psychological Care of Infant and Child. New York: W. W. Norton Company, Inc.

My Birth Story

You can go to this link to view pictures: http://birthstory.shutterfly.com/pictures/9


My Hypnobabies Birth from Doula Natalie Sue on Vimeo.


So here is the birth story! I think I have a chance now, to sit down and type it all up. It’s going to be very detailed because I don’t want to miss anything! It was such an incredible experience, that I want to save it in my memory forever.

So here’s how things happened. For about a week, I started noticing that my Braxton Hicks would sometimes feel a teeny bit crampy every once in a while.  It was nothing major and hardly noticeable except for when I was sitting or lying down. I’d feel a little ache and then when I touched my belly, I noticed it was tight.  I was so excited that something was happening. With my previous two babies, I’d only get Braxton Hicks if I was moving around – exercising, walking, etc – and then my uterus would get tight. These ones, this time, were happening on their own. I remember posting on facebook when I had a good one that really almost felt like a contraction. I was that excited.

I still did not expect anything to happen too soon. Both my other babies were a week overdue and induced. I assumed that my body needed at least 41 weeks to gestate and I already had my list of natural induction techniques ready if I made it to 42 weeks – which I thought I probably would. Although, in the back of my mind, I was wondering if I would go earlier than I expected….with these new signs.

Sunday the 4^th of September was a regular day.  Except for the fact that I actually got a nap!  It was wonderful. That evening we went to celebrate the upcoming birthday of our niece and had cake and ice cream. My neice’s birthday was on September 7^th – which was also my “guess” date. She has down syndrome and was completely convinced that this baby was also going to share her special day with her.  For months she was telling everyone how “Natalie’s baby is  going to be born on MY birthday.” I just knew that she was going to be disappointed when her birthday came and went, and there was no baby. Little did I know…

Later that evening, as I was sitting down checking my email, I noticed that I was having more crampy feelings….about 9 minutes apart. It was SO cool.  I didn’t think it meant anything at all. Just some toning maybe.  Plus I still wondered if I’d be one of those women that would have several practice sessions before my birthing time began.

I went to bed, and expected them to go away like they usually did after I went to sleep. The only thought I had about that was that I wondered if these evening tunings meant that I ‘d probably go into labor at night…one day.

I woke up a few times at night, to use the restroom, and didn’t notice anything out of the norm. Then I woke up just after 6 am, like I often did. I got up to get a bowl of cereal. I noticed that I was still having some crampy feelings. So I sat there for a while, interested if they were rhythmic. I started timing them.  6:33, 6:40, 6:46, 6:52, 6:57, 7:03, 7:11.  I could NOT believe it. In fact, I decided to go back to bed, sure that things would stop again.

I woke up around 9. My little boys were so kind to entertain themselves with toys and movies that I slept so well.  I got up and a few minutes later, noticed that things were still going on! Pretty exciting! 

I figured that I better weed my flower beds, in case things were happening, since family would be coming over the next day, plus over the course of the next weekend. I was preparing my yard for my in-laws to come home, and for a sister-in-law’s wedding reception, so I wanted things to look nice. I got my iPod out and started listening to my Hypnobabies tracks. I listened to “Birthing Day Affirmations.”  I spent about 45 minutes weeding, and I didn’t notice too much of anything as I was moving around and squatting and kneeling. But when I stopped and paid attention, they were still there.

I texted my sister-in-laws and just after 10 am….I told them that something was happening. I wasn’t sure if it meant anything or if it would turn into anything, but that it had been going on for a while. I told them to keep their cell phones on.

I went inside and puttered around the house a little bit. I made some lunch for my kids and I finally called my husband. I told him to stay in service (he’s a farmer in the country) in case things decided to start happening. He said he was coming home for lunch soon anyway.

When he got home, I decided to take a shower. You know, shave my legs, just in case. Plus I was a little smelly from weeding and needed to get ready for the day. It’s also a great way to see if you can calm down pressure waves (contractions.)

While I was in the shower, I had 6 pressure waves. Nothing was interfering with them. When I got out of the shower, I texted everyone again.

It was about 1:30 and I told them that things were pretty consistent. I wasn’t sure if they were still going to turn into anything, but to stay tuned.

I also called my mom. It was Labor Day (funny huh? ) and she had planned a family hike and BBQ. She was 3 hours away from me, so I wanted to give her a heads up and see if she would have cell phone service on the mountain. She asked me if she should get in the car and come, but I told her that I was still not quite sure if today was the day. I told her she could go on her hike.

I decided to get a few things ready. I dried my hair and did my makeup. I tried to finish packing my hospital bags. At 2:30 when things were still happening, I started to get anxious for my far-away family to get on the road. I finally thought that this might be it. I had started timing the waves and they were 5 minutes apart. I could not believe it.  I timed them for an hour from 2:30 to 3:30 and they were consistent. I decided this was the day. Whoa.

That’s when I had a bit of a panic moment.  I started trying to call and text everyone, and no one answered. I mean, no one. One doula was in Utah, but had an induction the next day, my back-up doula was on vacation with her family, but was supposed to be home soon, and another back-up was also 9 months pregnant. None of my sister-in-laws were answering their phones and my mom and dad weren’t answering theirs. I started to cry. I was so worried that after all this planning, that no one was going to make it to help me.

I sent out a text:  Ah! Is anyone going to be able to come!?!

But I finally started getting some answers back.  Two of my sisters said they could come. My mom called and she was coming down the mountain to get in the car.  My local doula (who was also 9 months pregnant) could come and help. I started feeling a little more assured.

My husband wondered if he could go and bale some straw. I told him that I wasn’t sure how long I had, and that I would feel better if he stayed home. He pumped up my birthing ball for me and started packing some things. Cute little Jayden, repeated my request to my husband and said, “Mommy wants you to get her burp ball ready.”

My little boys were playing this whole time. They really wanted me to play with them, so I decided it was time they went somewhere else. I tried to play with their trains, but it didn’t last very long. They wanted me to hold them, but I couldn’t, so I figured I was really in my birthing time.

So I had to figure out what to do with them!  I had a friend text about scheduling visiting teaching appointments. I told her I was in labor. She offered to take my kids for me. What a life saver and what a blessing. I then called my 3 yr old’s nursery teacher to see if she could come spend the night at my house with my kids.  Wonderfully, she could. Things were working out.  The friend said that she could even keep the kids over night if I needed her to.

Mores sisters called. Whew. Another sister said she could make it to the birth, while 2 others, sadly could not. But I was okay. I now realized I had 4 women, plus my mom and my husband who would be there with me.  I was starting to feel okay about things. A room surrounded with 6 people who love you, would make a great birthing team!

My dear, dear, sister in law, Amanda came to the house to help me. It really calmed my nerves. She has been such a great friend and emotional support to me over the past year and a half with so many changes in my life, that I knew she would really help me at my birth.  She offered to take my kids to my friend’s house so that Ladd (husband) could take a shower. No, he did not get to bale his straw that day! I think this was happening around 4 o’clock.

We got everything packed and I started timing waves again. They were 4 minutes apart. I still could not believe it. I called my mom and she wondered if I should go to the hospital. I was thinking that I should, since the hospital is an hour away, and with my 3^rd baby, I was timing waves 4 minutes apart. I still could not believe this was happening.

We left for the hospital a little after 5 PM and as we drove, I had my husband time waves for me. Some of them were 2 minutes apart. I sat there listening to my Hypnobabies tracks and focused and relaxed through the entire drive.  I still did not think that things were too intense, so despite my timing, I didn’t think the baby was too close. I was hoping to maybe be at a 4 or 5 when I arrived to the hospital.

I had let called my midwife earlier to tell her that things "might" be happening.  When I got to the hospital, I realized that I hadn't called her back to let her know that I was coming! Amazingly, when I got to L&D at 6:00 PM, they knew who I was and they put me into a room.

My CNM, Nicole, and the midwife in training, Patty, my cute pregnant doula, and  Amanda, were there to greet me.  Nicole checked me to see where I was at.  I asked her if she would tell me only whether I was more than a 5 or less than a 5.  She told me that I was less than a 5.  So she started telling me that I could go home for a while, or stay there for a couple of hours to see what happened. If nothing was going after that, I could still choose whether I wanted to go home. I just knew at that moment that I was a 3.  I asked if I could stay for a while. I really didn’t want to drive home, and have to drive back.

They put me on the monitors for 20 minutes to chart me. Never again would I be strapped to monitors though. Wonderful, huh?

So we went for a walk, down the stairs and outside. I stopped to breath through my pressure waves while Nicole and Dana (doula) rubbed my back. Then I had to go to the bathroom so we went back up to the room.  By that time, two more sister in laws, Whitney and Niki were there.  I was so grateful that Whitney was there. I really felt like I needed her there.  We have been to several births together, supporting each other and other sisters, that I just could not imagine having a baby without her.  The stars aligned and she just happened to be in Idaho with her other family.  Her mom was able to watch her kids, while she brought her 8 week old to the hospital to help me.  I was also so excited to have Niki there. She’s the kind of sister that everyone would want for an older sister. She is amazing in all that she does – basically is super woman and I really look up to her. She also has natural births and I knew she could help me to be strong. She also had a baby that she brought!  They both had babies and the hospital was so kind to not make a big deal of it and they let them come to help me.  I thought that was wonderful. We were missing three others in our usual birthing team. Tenille – who I knew I was going to desperately miss because I always envisioned her at my birth. In fact, when she told me she couldn’t come, I cried. But in the end, it was okay because so many others could come.  We also missed Angie – who was in another state, working, and preparing for a wedding, and Crystal who was even farther away.

Anyway, we all decided that we were hungry so the sisters left to go and get us Subway sandwiches.  During this time, I think I walked, listened to my tracks, and sat on the birth ball.  My midwife was wonderful and rubbed my back the entire time.

The waves were not too intense. They were very tight and I had to close my eyes and focus and breath through them, but they were not hard at all. I didn’t know if this was because I was around a 3 or if it was my Hypnobabies working. I’d take it though. Nice and easy.

I finally asked my midwife if I was a 3, and she said I was. Dang it.  We started talking about what I would do if I hadn’t progressed by the next check. I figured we could just go to a hotel so that we didn’t have to go all the way home.

At 8 o’clock she asked if I wanted to be checked again. I asked for one more hour and told her that the midwives  could go and eat some dinner and put their feet up. By this time, my sister in laws were back with some food. I didn’t feel like eating too much of it though, at this point.

They helped me through some waves by rubbing my back, etc. They were getting more intense, but not really closer together. I was feeling great.

At 9 the midwives came back and I decided to get checked.  She announced that I was greater than 5 centimeters and I started crying, I was so happy!  We were going to stay and have a baby!  I assumed that I was probably 6 centimeters. (I had my support team keep track of the real thing for me, and I found out later that I was right. I was a 6 at that point.)

I decided to get into the tub. Yay!  I was so excited for this because the hospital has some amazing tubs. And in every room!  They were SO nice.  Big, deep, Jacuzzi tubs in the corner of the bathroom. I also ate some sandwich since I know it’s a good thing to keep nourished during labor. And no one gave me a hard time about it.  Still wonderful.

By this time I was also admitted to the hospital, officially. I asked my CNM about all the questions I was supposed to get hounded with and she said I didn’t have to worry about it because they got all that information from my pre-admitting forms. So nice.

I did give them my birth preferences, and I think the nurse read them. I never got an IV! It was wonderful! No one ever asked, or insisted.

I didn’t notice too much of anything now, I was just doing my own thing.

The tub was great.  Waves were not any closer together, but they were getting more intense. This whole time I listened to my Hypnobabies tracks.  Everyone was commenting about how wonderful the affirmations were.  I loved them too and would repeat my favorite ones. I especially loved to smile and repeat the ones about how wonderful I was doing.  

There were a couple of cues that I learned in Hypnobabies. Interestingly enough, I thought I would like the cue of “Relax” with someone putting their hand on my shoulder. But it ended up that I loved the hand on my forehead. My sisters, mom, and husband were so great about this that every time they did it, I was able to relax during my waves.

I stayed in the tub for a couple of hours.  My support team helped me to concentrate.  I loved peppermint essential oil during this birth too. On my head, neck, and in my diffuser. Love peppermint.  

A couple hours later, my midwife wondered if she should check me.  In the tub, she could only tell that my bag of waters was bulging.

Since waves were saying a consistent length and not getting closer together, we decided to get out of the tub to see if things would move along.

At 11:30pm, my support team noticed that my waves were getting really intense. I just remember staying focused and concentrating on becoming “completely limp and loose” during each wave. 

I also got a little cold and got the shakes at this point, but nothing that a warm blanket couldn’t solve. I love those warm blankets!

I remember thinking how I loved these waves so much more than my pitocin-induced ones. These waves were so much more manageable. Because that’s exactly what they felt like. They felt like waves.  Going up and down.  The peak of the wave did not last very long at all, so I totally felt in control and felt like I could do it. Not once did I feel that I needed any medication or the epidural to relieve what I was feeling. I was totally doing it and I felt totally in control. 

I went and laid down in the bed to give myself a different position.  My support team was WONDERFUL. Seriously, birth is a nice spa day almost.  You get to soak in the tub and then you get massages for hours on end!

During this time, I was really concentrating and really listening to my Hypnobabies tracks. I did get nervous that if things were to get more intense, or if things were to get harder, faster, and stronger, I was afraid that I wouldn’t be able to do it.  But then a wave would come, I would handle it, and then it would go away. I’d realize that I was okay and that I could just keep going.

Time did not seem to exist at this point. I remember looking at the clock and thinking how I didn’t even feel tired, even though it was getting late, and that time seemed to be going so fast.

At midnight, I was checked again.  She told me that I had made progress. In my mind, I told myself “no more than a 7” so that I wouldn’t get my hopes up.  Plus, I still did not think that I had shown any signs of “transformation” i.e. transition.  So I figured I wasn’t farther than that.

What I was, was a 7 plus. She told my birth team that I was almost an 8.

We decided to sit back up and work with gravity.  I walked around. Leaned on the bed, and got on the birth ball.  All I really remember is that things were intense but manageable. I loved that I was doing it and that I was just fine.

Throughout this whole night, I remember asking several times if my labor was going to keep going, or if it was going to stop and if I would really have a baby another day. I guess I couldn’t really believe that he was coming, and I was experiencing a whole new type of birth that was so much better than I expected.

At 12:30, I said that I had an achy bum, but that it didn’t seem like the pressure you normally feel (or should) feel as you are getting closer to pushing.

I felt so supported. My midwives were wonderful. Absolutely incredible. They were kind and they pampered me.  They listened to my baby with a Doppler  every 20 minutes during a few waves and that was all. I never was hooked up to the monitors again. The nurse would touch my belly during a contraction, but I would not even feel it. She was so nice too. She was so quiet and respected ALL of my wishes on my birth plan. My room was so peaceful and I felt like everything was going perfectly. Was I really at a hospital!?

There were people surrounding me and helping me. I didn’t know whose hand was on my forehead or who was rubbing my back or my feet, but I knew they were there and I knew I wasn’t alone. I heard words of encouragement from my Hypnobabies tracks and from my birthing team.  It was perfect, perfect, perfect. Everyone was perfect.

I was able to do whatever I needed to remain comfortable and calm.  I did not ever feel out of control.  I was able to make it through each wave just fine.

At 1:50, I felt more pressure, which I think, was probably my bulging bag of waters.  At this point, things are just blurry and I just kept going with what I was doing. I would change positions, go to the bathroom, drink fluids, get massaged, listen to Hypnobabies, etc.  I was a free woman to do what I felt my body needed, and I loved it!  During this time, a resident doctor had also been coming in and out so that she could see what a natural birth was like with the midwives. I was happy to have her there because I felt that more exposure to natural birth, the better.

I was checked at 2:50am.  Nicole said that I had made a little bit of progress, which was great.  She said it wasn’t a whole lot, but that it was good.

I was a little disappointed because I thought at this time that maybe it meant I was still a 6 or 7.  So I finally asked her to tell me what I really was.  She told me that I was an 8 and 100% effaced.  I can not tell you how THRILLED I was. I was elated. I was so surprised and happy. And 8!  I had made it to an 8!

She suggested that I get on my hand and knees or that I break my water. She thought that if we broke my water and let the baby come down, that I’d have him very quickly. Apparently he was still at a minus 3 station.

Well, this made me a little nervous. I really wanted my water to break on it’s own.  I also didn’t like that he was a high station.  I sat and stewed over the decision for a while. I knew that she could be right. I knew that maybe if I broke my water, that I’d have a baby in my arms very quickly.

I so appreciate my support team and my midwives for giving me my space and giving me a chance to think about what I wanted to do. There was absolutely no pressure, even though it was the middle of the night and everyone was tired. At this point, my midwife had been up for over 2 days, yet she still was peacefully respecting all of my decisions and let me make all of my choices.

I got on the bed on my hands and knees for a little while, meantime talking with my birth team about what I should do.  And I just have to say, at this point, I had to pee all…the…time. There was just not very much room in there!

I was going back and forth about what I should do at this point. Finally, I asked my husband for a blessing. He gave me some encouraging words of peace. Afterwards, I decided to have my water broken.  Again, I was doing just fine, so I was nervous that by breaking my water, that I wouldn’t be able to manage my waves anymore. I told everyone, “I will break my water if you promise to really help me through this next part. AND, I will only break my water if you start filling up the tub again.”

So 3:45 am, Nicole broke my water. I was prepared for an intense pain….that never came.  I got back onto my knees and leaned over the back of the bed so that I could also let gravity help that baby put pressure on my cervix. He had come down now, and I was ready to see him.

Amazingly, the waves I had, were actually easier. I don’t know if it’s because the pressure of a full bag of waters was released or what, but the waves were very comfortable. Everyone was there by my bed helping me and it was so nice. Of course, I also attribute my comfort to Hypnobabies! My tracks were still going!

I remember being completely relaxed but also calling out, “Why is the tub not being filled?”  No one really answered, but I found out later that someone went over to start it and my midwife said, “We’re not filling the tub. She’s going to have this baby.”

I also went back and forth to the bathroom since there was so much pressure on my bladder... I got so sick of getting up and down to go to the toilet, that I just asked for a bed pan. We were all laughing about it.  I could not believe how wonderful everyone was. I mean, my midwife was incredible. What a nuisance that could have been, but she just helped me like it was normal. I tell you, everyone there was incredible. I remember telling them all, “I have never been to a birth like this. And if I ever do, I will think it was the craziest birth!  Just call me the Peeing Princess!” That was at 4:10 am.

So this is the crazy part…..after these few very manageable contractions, I was still on my knees on the bed. Literally, ALL OF A SUDDEN, a wave came on and I was pushing!  I was totally consumed by this new feeling!  At first it scared me to death, it was so intense. I had absolutely no warning. I expected to feel pressure at first. I expected to feel grunty. I expected some transition signs or some pushing sigs like I had seen at other births. Um, no time for that!  He was right there ready to come out!  I roared like you could not believe. In that moment, I remember thinking “How can I do this for this long to get this baby out!”  But then, of course, the wave ended and I was surprised that all feeling went away, and I didn’t feel like I was going to explode. I got a little break. I realized that, of course, I was going to get breaks in between pushes. This made me feel a lot better. Yet, I was scared for the next one.

My wonderful husband and mom were in the perfect place for me. My husband was on one side of my head and my mom was on the other side. Just to know that they were there- two of the most important people to me- made me feel so much better. I could sense them there and I could hear their voices. They were perfect. Wonderful. Loving. Amazing. One rock on each side of me when I literally felt like I was hanging on the bed for dear life.

Then another one came. I reached down and could feel that his head was right there.  I cannot describe these moments. I felt completely inside of myself and I felt myself working and moving that baby closer and closer. I heard people’s voices, but I could not tell what they were saying. Part of it is because I felt like I was so loud. And when I say roar, I mean roar.

Another push came and I remember thinking that I just did not care if I tore, because I wanted to get him out…and out came his head!  I heard joyous noises in the room. Meanwhile, I could barely catch my breath in between all these pushes, it was so intense.

The next one came and with a couple of spushes, the rest of my little babe came out! What a great feeling. Oh, I just can’t describe what those last moments are like bringing a baby into the world. I was totally consumed. Totally primal, totally overcome, totally burning, totally strong.

And then he started crying. THE most beautiful noise in the whole world! I think my eyes were still closed at this time and I was soaking it all in.  The baby was behind me, but my midwife quickly handed him to me. He was born at 4:24 am. 

Oh the moment of seeing your baby for the first time! I will always have that picture emblazoned in my mind. Holding him and seeing him right there! We did it!

I turned around and held him close.  The wonderful baby nurse respected my wishes of using my own towels and we gently dried him off.  She got a warm blanket and I sat and talked to my precious baby. I also asked to make sure that he was a boy.

My midwife let the cord stop pulsating and the Ladd cut it. He mentioned that the scissors were much sharper this time than the last time he cut a cord.

My husband. I loved seeing the smile on his face. What an experience! He loves our babies so much. We were so happy to have this new little guy arrive with us. And I’m sure he was also relieved that it was over.

My placenta came out soon after…with a quite a bit of blood. So I did need some help to stop the bleeding, but it wasn’t bad.

I wanted to start nursing and the hospital staff was so respectful and let me hold him without any procedures done. They did check vitals and his apgars were 8 and 9. He did have a bit of meconium but I guess it wasn’t enough that I couldn’t hold him right afterwards. Which was wonderful. He never had to get suctioned either. So blessed.

After a few attempts, baby boy started nursing. Hooray! That’s always a nervous part for me now, because my first would not nurse. But this little guy was and I was so happy.

I was able to cuddle and hold him clear until 6 o’clock when I decided I was too curious and wanted to weigh him.  The baby nurse was so great and had patiently waited for me to decide this. She quickly took his measurements. 8 lbs 2 ounces and 20 ¾ inches. His head was 13.5 cm.  Then she gave him right back to me, only in a diaper so we could continue skin-to-skin.  What a GREAT experience.

This birth was absolutely amazing. I was so proud that I did it without intervention just like I had hoped.  I felt so relaxed and supported the entire time. The waves were so intense, but never did I feel like I needed an epidural for what I was going through. I always had, in the back of my mind, a wonder that if things were to get worse, that I don’t know how I would be able to do it. And then they never got worse. There were peaks that I thought were going to totally overcome me, but then, at that moment, then would ease off.  And my body was kind. Usually after an extremely challenging wave, I’d have an easier one the next time.  I don’t feel like I ever lost control.  I did have to vocalize a lot, but it helped me so much. Pushing was a whirlwind, but I only had to do that four times, and I had a break in between. 

When everything was over, I was so happy.  And I felt so great, I could not believe it. I really feel like I had the perfect birth. The hospital respected my every wish. My midwives were absolutely amazing and perfect. My support team was wonderful and never gave up on me. I felt so loved and taken care of. My environment was peaceful and I was surrounded with protection.  I could not have done it any other way. 

During this whole time, I prayed for strength and wisdom.  I really wanted to do my best and to make the best choices. I am extremely humbled by how blessed I feel I was. My birthing time was beautiful.  I cannot think of one thing that I could or would change.  I keep saying that it was a perfect birth, because it was.  It was the most incredible experience that I have had.  I know that I’ve typed a lot, but there are just not words in the dictionary to do my feelings justice.  I’m so grateful for this experience. I’m so grateful it worked out the best way possible. I feel so much humility for all of my blessings. What a wonderful, wonderful day!

My recovery has also been unbelievable. I felt so great in the hospital. We stayed on night and when I got up the next morning, we decided to go home because another whole day and night there seemed like it would be pretty boring.  Now don’t get me wrong. Recovery hasn’t been a walk in the park. There’s still the after birth pain, and the nursing that makes my toes curl, but I feel so much better than I could have imagined. I mentioned to my sister in law, that I felt bad cause it almost doesn’t seem fair that things have gone so well. She reminded me of my uterine infection, problems nursing, and my crazy post partum hormones with my other births. So I guess I’ve had my share of experiences! I’m just so humbled that this one is going so well!  I’m sold!  (Not that I could do it again tomorrow….whew!  But I’ll do it again in a couple years!)

And there you have it. The birth story!