How Fathers Benefit from Hiring a Doula

There is no doubt that hiring a doula will benefit the laboring mother in numerous ways, as research has shown that with a doula there are shorter labors, less interventions, lowered chance of having a caesarean section, and increased maternal bonding in the months following childbirth. (DONA, 2001)  However, it is not always clear how hiring a doula will benefit the father during the process. Doulas are experts in the area of pain management and emotional support for birthing mothers, but they are also trained to support any family members and fathers who are present. A doula can benefit a father by being present in the birthing room and thus contribute to a positive birthing experience for the whole family. Father’s nowadays are involved in the birthing experience more than they ever have been, and having a doula present can allow them to experience it with confidence. (DONA, 2001)

 According to Marshall H. Klaus, John H. Kennell, and Phyllis H. Klaus, authors of “The Doula Book”, doulas and fathers occupy two different roles. Fathers are there because of the emotional bond and their personal attachment that they share with the mother and the new baby. Doulas, on the other hand, do not have that invested relationship with the mother or the baby. Although they do work to build a relationship, it is nothing like the relationship between the mother and her partner, or other family members. Doulas are birth professionals trained to manage pain, provide emotional support, provide information, be an advocate, and encourage and support the Mother AND the Father in their roles.

“We actually make demands on first-time fathers that exceed those made on medical students”(Klaus, Kennell, Klaus, 2002)

This statement is just one of the reasons a father would benefit from a doula. First-time fathers (and even 2^ndor more time fathers) are often expected to do everything. They are expected to be the support, to be emotionally available, and to know exactly what to do at all times. However, this may be the first time they have ever had experience with childbirth, and a little guidance would be more than beneficial. A doula helps a father learn and determine what comfort measures will work for his partner. She will also allow opportunity for the father to provide more intimate support, as she will take on the physical work while the father connects emotionally with the mother.

Another skill that doulas typically possess is to know when to remove themselves from the space and let the mother and her partner connect. There are times when the father and mother may just want some time alone, and that is understandable, so the doula will step back and observe. Yet on the other hand, a doula will recognize when she is needed and she will then offer support

Penny Simkin, author of “The Birth Partner” and well known doula, childbirth educator, and physical therapist, provides a straightforward list of all the things a doula can do to help a father during childbirth.  The list includes:

-          Provide guidance

-          Offer breaks

-          Be the one to go get items for the mother, so that the father does not need to leave the room

-          Offer reassurance if the father is concerned about the mother’s well being

-          Explain what is happening with the labor to keep father always informed

-          Help the father participate more comfortably if he is at all nervous

-          Prior to the birth the doula will address any fears or concerns going in to the birthing experience

-          Can take photographs of the couple, the process, and new baby afterwards

Childbirth is one of the most transformational experiences a couple will go through. The amount of support that the couple receives can have invaluable effects on their perception and personal satisfaction with the birth process and life changes to follow. Hiring a doula that you are comfortable with and trust can benefit the mother, the father, and ultimately, the family as a whole.

Charlotte Sanchez CPM is a Certified Professional Midwife and
Childbirth Educator of over 20 years.

References:

DONA (2001). “Dads and Doulas: Key Players on Mother’s Support Team”,http://www.dona.org/PDF/DadsandDoulas.pdf

Klaus, M., Kennell, J. & Klaus, P., (2002).  The Doula Book: how a trained labor companion can help you have a shorter, easier, and healthier birth. Cambridge, Da Capo Press.

Simkin, P. (2008). The Birth Partner: A complete guide to childbirth for dads, doulas, and all other labor companions.  Boston, The Harvard Common Press.

http://www.pregnancybeat.com/how-fathers-benefit-from-hiring-a-doula/

Dads and Doulas

5 Reasons Dads Should Demand a Doula

From KH Weiss, About.com Guide

When my wife told me that she wanted a doula, I was hurt. I truly thought with our first baby that I’d be able to be the end all be all for my wife. She showed me the research. She let me meet some of the doulas. I still wasn’t convinced that it would be the right choice for us. I subscribed to the “If you weren’t at the conception, you shouldn’t be at the birth rule.” My wife wound up vetoing me. Here are the reasons I’m glad that she did:

1. A doula can spell you. 
   I really thought I’d be able to stay awake for a big event like childbirth. Who didn’t pull an all nighter in college? Bathroom breaks? Ha! I mean, if I could ride my bike for hours, drinking lots of water and not needing a bathroom break, surely I could wait a few hours while my wife was in labor, right? Wrong.
   Thirty hours into my wife’s first labor and I was toast. I’d been up walking with her for what seemed like days as labor began. We’d come to the hospital and there wasn’t any sleeping for me. I was physically tired and mentally shot. The doula really helped me out. With my wife’s blessing, that 30 minute nap I caught helped me to refocus and be back on my game for the big event. And we won’t even talk about how much fun my wife made of me for my small bladder. Needless to say, having the knowledge that my wife had someone else with her while I scarfed down food, went to the bathroom and grabbed a few winks kept me sane.
2. A doula remembers what she learned in childbirth class. 
   I paid attention in childbirth class. I’d hear enough horror stories to realize that there was a huge, comprehensive final exam for this course – childbirth. But when push came to shove, no pun intended, the knowledge went out of my brain. Those early hours of labor I couldn’t remember if we were supposed to eat or sleep, which positions were good or not so good. Thankfully, when the doula arrived, she saved my skin and made me look like the good guy. My wife never really realized that it wasn’t my idea that she try certain positions, but that I’d been privately coached by our doula.
3. A doula knows the questions to ask. 
   When we arrived at the hospital, everyone was bombarding us. Questions were flying from all directions. I was busy trying to help soothe my wife, who was not happy with the bumpy car ride to the hospital. Our doula stepped in and gave them all the information that they needed. Magically doors opened and we were offered a prime birthing room.
   Our doula also was very helpful in getting information. A nurse or a tech would come in and ask us if we wanted something, like a procedure or a medication. I had no clue. (See above where I forgot my childbirth class information!) Our doula would very calmly ask questions of them and of us until we had enough information to make the decision that matched what we wanted. It was never pushy or mean, just questions. She even reminded us that we could take some time alone to make a decision. That turned out to be a real blessing.
4. A doula speaks the language of labor. 
   Our doula was an amazing translator. I’d ask a simple question like, “How’s the baby?” And the nurse would respond with something like, “The EFM indicates that there are no decels during periods of stimulation.” I’d give her my biggest smile and nod, like I knew what she was saying. Once she left the room, I’d ask our doula, who would carefully explain each part of what had been said. She also helped us decipher what AROM was as well as second stage.
5. A doula keeps you calm. 
   Hard. Labor was so hard. And that’s just how it felt to me. Thankfully, when the going got tough and my wife was in hard labor, it was difficult for me to keep anything in my brain. I forgot everything from childbirth class and all I could think of was “Surely this isn’t normal!” Our doula would smile at me from across my wife on the birth ball and as if she had read my mind, would mouth the words “This is normal.” Her calm smile helped me focus again on loving on my wife and keeping her calm. She showed me how and where to touch, she modeled how to behave quietly and efficiently and she made me the star in my wife’s eyes.

When I first heard about doulas, I thought of them as birth interlopers. Now I don’t know how anyone could manage to give birth without one. Our doula really helped bring me together with my wife as she gave birth. My wife remembers my constant support and never failing love or knowledge. She remembers the doula as a nice person who did some stuff in the background. We won’t give birth without a doula.